Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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