...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
