i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
