You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Send help, water and tortillas.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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