i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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