I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
