Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
