I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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