Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i barfeds in our rink
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
