Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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