Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
