Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
