...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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