i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just google imaged poop.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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