never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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