Me too!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
