my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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