She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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