My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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