You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
