i was rollin on her like bob the builder
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
