Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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