So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
