Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize