At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
MIDGETS
????
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
