Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
