i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
