the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
