theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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