Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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