so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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