her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
