He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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