Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
