i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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