if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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