look no pants
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
