I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
