Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
