So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
