i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
