that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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