My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
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My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
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Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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