Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
NoShamevember. You game?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize