I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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