Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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