Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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