I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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