OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
