oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
