Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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