Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
