We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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