You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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