Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
