oh god the rape fog is back!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
