he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize