I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
my being single is dangerous.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
