im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
