no, he came in my armpit
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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