do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
